Lupus: Support and Survival

Dealing with Doctors

I Am NOT Fine!

How many times have you waited for weeks to get into a doctor's office?
How many times have you said, “Fine” when the doctor asks you, “How you doing?”
How many times have you then wanted to kick yourself because you lost your chance to get the help you needed?

As Lupus patients, we are constantly bombarded with negative replies to our quests for help from family or friends. We are tired of having to explain how our “exhaustion” is not something that can be cured with a good night's sleep, or a fifteen minute nap.

We have become gun shy from having to dodge the bullets of sarcasm, so it has become a habit for us to answer “Fine!” when we should have answered differently.

In talking with other Lupus patients, I constantly hear “My doctor doesn't listen to me.” “I don't think my doctor cares about anything but money.

So I ask them, “Did you tell your doctor exactly what is happening in your life? Have you told the doctor the pain is so relentless, you cannot sleep more than an hour at a time?”

More times than not, the replies have been to the effect of:
“He is a doctor, he should know what to do about my pain.”
To those people I say, “Contrary to popular belief, just because a person has the letters DR in front of their name, does not instill in them knowledge and common sense, nor does it make them a mind reader. You need to tell the doctor exactly what kind of pain you are having.”

“I have told him, but he just brushes me off.”
If a doctor brushes you off, it is only because you ALLOWED him to brush you off. If you don't persist in finding the answers, why should he take you serious when you yourself don't?

“Why should I bother telling him, he doesn't listen to me anyway?”
When you tell your doctor a problem, do you tell him in an offhand manner or are you direct and to the point? Or do you come prepared with a list of questions and information you have gleaned from books or the Internet?

Dealing with your health is something you cannot do on your own. You need medical help from doctors and hospitals. You need the support of family and friends. If you try to accomplish all of this on your own, depression will overwhelm you and you will lose the battle mentally as well as physically. You begin to believe suicide is the only option open to you.

Asking for help doesn't show a weakness of character, it shows strength. By letting someone else help you control your health, you show that you are strong in the belief the battle can be won.

The next time someone asks you, “How are you?” don't automatically answer, “Fine”.
The next time someone asks you, “Is there anything I can do for you?” say, “YES!”

By allowing someone to help when they offer not only helps you, but helps them as well. They will gather a satisfaction from having performed a good deed and, because you didn't have to expend the energy performing the chore, you will get the rest you need to help you heal.

It is not a crime to say, “I am NOT fine!”

© 2002 Brenda “Rion” Sewell

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A Letter to be Shared with Friends and Family Can Be Found Here!

Searching for  ways to deal with the depression, the frustrations, the questions about lupus, I joined a support group online.  LUPIES has been a wonderful gift.  I have learned more from the information I found on the support web site and from other sufferers of Lupus than I did from my first doctor. The Lupies and I have become great friends and offer each other support and love.
Thank you fellow Lupies!
With a very special thank you to Deanna ..
a great provider of information and owner of the Lupies online group!
May your days be pain free!

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Lupie Wolf and Butterfly logo at the top of the page is
courtesy of © 2001 MJ Haller

Lupus Wolf background by Rion

All literary works and original artwork by Rion on this page,
unless otherwise noted, are the sole property of Brenda Sewell.
I do not mind sharing but please ask me first.

© 1998 - 2004 Brenda "Rion" Sewell

Email me at brendarion at cfl.rr.com


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This site is intended for educational purposes only, to provide an overview of Lupus for patients, their families, and health care providers. It is not intended to recommend any specific treatment, nor should it be used as a guide for self-treatment.
Patients with Lupus should consult their Rheumatologist before making any changes to their treatment regimen. Changing your treatment regimen could be harmful.
No information on this site should be construed as medical advice.

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